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in. A version of this article appeared in The Face Magazine. For a moment, the glimpse of a brighter world was possible. Then 10pm hit on the 12 December and the dream of our radical utopia read: mild social democracy lay dead at our feet. Barbarism won over the British population and the Labour party returned to doing what it does best: squabbling on Twitter amongst itself about which leadership candidate is least cancelled.

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As a force of parliamentary opposition, Labour have been decimated. This bleak forecast leaves many lost as where to begin the fight-back. The answer, of course, is in the home. Specifically, in the room where you spend all your unconscious hours and if you live in London, most of your waking ones too. Yes, your boudoir!

The personal, my friends, is political, and sexual politics are a microcosm of society as a whole. Also, research by YouGovthat surveyed respondents living in European countries including the UKsuggested conservatives are actually more satisfied with their sex lives than left-wingers. In hindsight, this should have been the first warning shot that the progressive left movement of the s was in trouble. We campaign for the right to watch porn in peace and sexual education in schools!

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How the fuck can we be having less satisfying rutting than the likes of Jacob Rees Mogg! This is potentially the most socialist thing you can do. It could only get more socialist if Bernie Sanders was the one doing it DaddySanders Making women cum is so socialist that it formed the central argument of anthropologist Kristen R.

Her evidence comes via 20th century Eastern Europe and its transition from state socialism to capitalism and includes findings like the discovery that East German women living under communism were cumming at double the rate of their West German counterparts. The TL;DR although definitely read explanation for why is that under socialist policies women have the freedom to choose more. They have better jobs, better pay, better division of household labour and input into the governance of the country.

This does not refer to sex work, which is a direct business transaction, but the unconscious deals that are apparently struck between men and women who have sex. But the odious theory of sexual economics also le handily into another quick and easy way to have socialist sex while chafing under the libido-killing reality of Tory rule: spread it around. Maybe even at the same time. If everyone has access to something, no one values it! Yes, becoming poly will mean moving to a drafty, person warehouse and shoehorning your progressive new relationship status into every conversation you have.

Maybe some steampunk items will magically appear in your wardrobe one day.

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Like consent! Consent is not socialist however. Consent is apolitical.

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Consent is an independent peer and should have cross-bench support. Anal is very socialist. This makes it the most radically socialist sex act going. Consider too, going one better if you really want to impress everyone at the next union meeting. Do not simply do it up the butt. Also reverse any traditional roles you may take when doing it up the butt. Subvert expectations; if you are normally a giver, be a receiver. If you are normally a receiver, absolutely destroy that ass. Rip it up. Mr Gorbachev… tear down these cheeks! Hopefully this should have given you a little taste of just how far socialism can penetrate into our daily lives.

So try them out. But remember: sadly it is not at all socialist to fuck a Tory. See also: centrists. So, no Tory fucking. Unless of course, you stop just before they cum and refuse to continue. Get started. Open in app. Moya Lothian-Mclean. in Get started. Get started Open in app. How to have socialist sex in a Tory age.

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More from Moya Lothian-Mclean Follow. More From Medium. First Kiss. First Scar. First Robbery.

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Suzanna Quintana in Tell Your Story. Rayna Moore.

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Morgane Q. Javier Ortega-Araiza in Age of Awareness. Dynasti Hunt. Small Town Values. Josh Maxwell. Is the Future Really Female? Nick C. About Write Help Legal.

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