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January 25, Friday, Day One: Nuevo Senorial "Around the outside of the room other beautiful women wearing little or nothing at all flitted between the infatuated, intoxicated men, sometimes luring them away for a private dance. The men would follow obediently, weighed down by lust and credit cards.
Ronald, The Zombie Room.
Its much, much nicer than the shower in my apartment. Mine has no hot water, or hot strippers in it. The selection of food, the quality of it, and the service are amazing. It was the way they would, out of the blue, surprise you with the psychic ability to know what you needed. Full journalistic disclosure right up front. I sometimes work for Vampiz. Usually barking on the corner drumming up business, occasionally as a DJ though I still play too much weirder American music for the managements tastesand have an upcoming gig rewiring their sound system in the hopes that every guest DJ they bring in after me doesn't fuck up the entire thing in short order.
So I didn't have to spend what little savings I had left on hotel rooms. They also invited me to their home for Chirstmas dinner, having known me at that point for less than six hours. The memory of that meal and the welcoming atmosphere I felt from them, their friends, and families won't effect my objectivity, despite it being one of the best home cooked meals I've had in years. It was honestly one of the best Christmases I've had in ages. They are in my humble, informed opinion, good people. Not pictured were the excellent homemade tamales. Preparing for the day, putting on their war paint make upperhaps even having a late breakfast.
One day it was a giant pile of delicious homemade pancakes with all the trimmings. A pancake breakfast with a large group of very friendly off-duty strippers is another situation I never imagined myself in. Things at Vampiz are somewhat atypical for most strip clubs in my experience, but not at all in a bad way. Perhaps its the Border strip clubs progresso mexico that Vampiz is a smaller establishment, around half the total square footage of Neuvo Senorial.
Maybe its the occasional wholesome pancake breakfast, or it could be the dynamic that management has established with the girls and some of the regulars but the feel there is a lot more personal, more intimate than other clubs I've been to or worked at. I don't mean intimate in the sexy sense, though there is no lack of that as the girls are gorgeous and certainly know their trade.
When I say intimate I also don't mean the size of the place. Its smaller than the other club to be sure, but rather its the staff and how they interact, with customers and each other. There is a single stage with a pole, and that pole sees a fair bit of use as one would expect. Diablo was drunk, very drunk, which is why I suspect he wasn't all that mad when I began pelting him with quarters yelling along with the girls for him to show off 'the goods'.
He didn't show off much, and certainly not 'the goods', but I can't blame him. Not many people are willing to get naked in a room full of their coworkers for about a buck fifty in quarters. Despite the nicer weather the day turned out to be much quieter than a typical Saturday in this particular branch of the service industry. Most tourists walking along the main artery through Nuevo Progreso were of the older-to-ancient variety, sometimes with their families in tow. Its hard to convince a conservative family unit from Texas or Minnesota that they need to spend a somewhat nice afternoon basking in the glow of gorgeous naked women, downing cheap beer, all the while bass heavy Latin electronica blasts from the house sound system.
No ing for taste. It couldn't have been total loss in that department as while I was sitting down in Santana to charge my phone and escape the music for a moment to put my notes in order two familiar faces strolled by. One belonged to an older gentleman who works at the club, a sometime bartender, sometime assistant manager, and occasional flyer tout on slow days who is known simply as 'Tio', He speaks no English and my Spanish is shit, so we have never had a proper conversation, but I like him all the same.
He knows the business and takes exactly zero shit from anyone, both qualities I can respect. The other fellow passing stopped immediately Border strip clubs progresso mexico the door to Santana and called out 'My Brother! Pancho Villa, M. As quickly as he had vanished the last time I saw him here he was. Arms outstretched for a hug and his usual 'I'm on top of the goddamn world' attitude and smile on full display. We ended up having a bite to eat at Santana, as I have found it is almost impossible to not eat there once you walk in.
The constant, amazing smell of home cooked Mexican food combined with the friendly staff could give anyone a powerful appetite. I had already begun the day with one of my go-to dishes for brunch when I end up leaving the house without any food at all, their phenomenal scrambled eggs with chorizo plate. Farm fresh eggs, and farm fresh chorizo crumbled into the mix, served with a hearty helping of refried beans and dirty rice which would give the unnamed taquria Tabby and I had breakfast at once in SoCal and have never been able to track down again a run for its money.
All that plus fresh, warm tortillas and their homemade pico de gallo makes for a hell of a meal to start the day. Villa's arrival at Vampiz was delayed somewhat as we continued to shoot the shit about whatever topics came to mind.
Thankfully, I was correct in my article about the man; Dr. If I went back to Vampiz after that I knew how the day would turn out, it was pretty much assured. Any chance I had of playing objective observer would be dust in the rear view mirror of the good doctors aged yet shockingly fast sports car. The thing is as old as I am, literally, but certainly runs a mile much faster than I could ever hope to.
To return to Vampiz then and there would have meant sharing a table with the good doctor, so I politely declined so as not to be rude. I would not have been able to resist his persistent offers of beer and tequila to share along with his beautiful companions. As I said before I like the guy, he's weird as hell but damn good company. Instead of an evening of quiet observation from the corner it would have been Dr. Villa, two of the gorgeous girls from Vampiz, your friend and humble narrator, and a rapidly accumulating collection of empty beer bottles regular sized for us, and adorable half sized bottles the bar serves the girls for the same reason Nuevo Senorial serves their dancers the over-iced contents of 40's and tequila shooters lining the table.
Not that any of this sounds bad. At all. Except of course for my already easily dis-tractable work ethic in such scenarios. Reluctantly I returned to my tiny apartment to begin writing up this long overdue post. As I was walking home I began thinking back on various customers and situations that have arisen in my short time at Vampiz.
Once, not on this day, but a one spent barking on the corner an older American couple asked for directions to a good beauty salon. The wife wanted a pedicure and the husband didn't seem to want anything. At least not until his wife had her feet being worked over by Juno and Anna, the skilled ladies at Abby's salon on the corner. His wife engaged in a relaxing pedicure he asked me, quietly, if there was somewhere near by he could get a cheap beer. He told me over and over again as we approached the club that the girls were of no interest to him, he just wanted a beer.
I said that was fine, lap dances or more, were by no means mandatory and lead him straight to the bar. Circumstances brought me back to the club about 15 minutes later with more customers and I found that goodly and very married gentleman enthusiastically getting a lap dance from one of the beautiful girls on duty that day.
Admittedly I did not spend nearly as much time at Vampiz as I did at Nuevo Senorial, but I don't feel that to be a barrier in writing this. Cumulatively I've spent a lot more time at Vampiz as should be evident by now. If the purpose of this article had been to choose which club is better, which is not an never was the point I was trying to make, than my skipping out early to avoid a marathon drinking session with one of the most unique individuals I have ever encountered would be remarkably unfair.
But as I said, this Border strip clubs progresso mexico a contest. It was merely an attempt to give a brief glimpse into the day to day life of Border strip clubs progresso mexico similar yet very different businesses here in Nuevo Progreso. To peel back a bit of the sleazy mystique that tends to surround such places and make them seem far more sinister or nefarious than they truly are. Both clubs are fine establishments, its just a question if what sort of atmosphere you are in the mood for.
Having worked in showbiz since I was about 15, and in more than one night club, concert venue, and the odd strip club I can't help but cast an ultra critical eye at certain things. Mostly on the technical side, but honestly none of that is worth mentioning here.
Both clubs are run, as far as I can tell by decent, hard working people who strive above all else to give the customers what they want. Drinks, pretty girls, an enjoyable atmosphere, an escape for those in need of it, and of course to make some money while doing so. Just like any other business. This post copyright James Radcliff, and has been brought to you by Mexico, Tequila, and generally poor decision making.
If you would like to donate to support this bizarre little travelogue, feel free to do so via Patreon or PayPal. As always, this strange and debaucherous adventure has been brought to your screen by viewers like you. Thank you.
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